To quote the Backstreet Boys, “Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical.” Tell me the truth—am I biased because I love the Backstreet Boys or are they just brilliant?
Yes! They’re brilliant. I knew it.
The reason I’m writing about good ol’ BSB is not because I want to talk about how much better they are than N’Sync, even though we all know they are. I’m writing about them because I always thought those lyrics to be meaningful.
Last week I was a little sad–probably one of the only times I’ve been sad in the last few months. I woke up sad, which is the worst way to ever wake up but hey, I guess we all need that feeling sometimes. The snooze button was my friend that Monday morning, and all I really wanted was to stay in the darkness beneath my bedsheets for a few more hours. But I did what I’m best at and rallied—to class.
I was miserable until I walked out of the apartment and into the sunshine. Here in Sevilla, the sun is always shining. The sky is my favorite shade of blue, the clouds are either nonexistent or perfectly white and fluffy. I walk to school in the happiest of moods and permanently with a pep in my step. I often find myself trying to hold in a smile. I see strangers and tourists on the street wanting to ask them if they love this city as much as I do. I decide against it, knowing already that they do.
I know they do, because the sunshine is electric. For me, it’s almost impossible to be sad when the sun is out and about and free and lighting up the world. It was just what I needed on that sad morning. I popped my headphones in and you know what I did? I put my CRY playlist on. My CRY playlist was made for stressful moments where I just know that crying will help. Songs move me so quickly and without my permission, and this playlist triggers the tears in my eyes.
But I didn’t cry. Maybe I was just feeling nostalgic and not sad like I thought I was, but I couldn’t do it even with this playlist. Instead, I let my sad morning turn into a happy day and I smiled the whole way to school. It was picture perfect outside, and on those days it’s okay to be sad. In the movie The Town, one of the characters says that sunny days remind her of death because her brother died in a hospital on a sunny day.
I guess it’s better to be sad on a sunny day. If you think about it, happy days are good days to be sad every once in a while. You can go back in your mind and be sad, but the sun is out, and that should remind you that you’re okay.
We get hurt often. We lose people often. We lose people all the time. Sad things just happen, and nothing’s wrong with remembering that. I always like to look back with a smile. Whether the sadness is over the death of a loved one, or the one that got away, or the simple memory of the past, sometimes what we need is to listen to a sad playlist on happy day. Sunshine is medicine for our memories.